I hopped to the bank –
Dressed in my pegleg pirate outfit –
Not the smartest thing I’ve ever done.
But the Halloween party was in full swing, and I needed some cash!
It didn’t help that I had recently had throat surgery, and wasn’t allowed to talk.
As I passed a note to the teller, asking for my withdrawal,
I was jumped by security.
It was humiliating.
But it got worse:
I screamed like a little girl, and the other customers started to laugh.
Security had my own pegleg digging in my ribs, and I was squealing like a penned up animal.
Cops showed up, security got off me, and I was immediately cuffed.
The security guard had broken his nose on my wooden sword when he tackled me, so there was blood everywhere.
I was charged for assault and battery!
After the reporters got wind of the story, my picture was plastered all over the city.
Talk about embarrassing!
My co-workers, who were initially pissed that I didn’t show up at the party, had covered my office in the front page news.
I learned a few lessons that day, but the most important one was never leave your ATM card at home!